2. What am I waiting for...?

In many of the things I say, I use the pronouns 'we' and 'us'. I would like to think that I use them for a very deep and specific purpose but I don't. I simply use 'we' and 'us' because I hope that whoever reads this will feel the same away about what God has put into my heart this week and will include themselves in my thoughts. If that is the case this week, please feel free to join in this conversation.

As We struggle to Passionately Wait on God, the question that we like to ask our Heavenly Father is what are we waiting for? What exactly are you doing in our life? There are so many things about our lives that leave us feeling empty or abandoned or even hurt. We wait on God to speak to us or show us something that encourages us and reminds us that we are on the right track, but many times we feel like we are caught with our pants down. We are left open and vulnerable and ashamed of what people can see. So naturally we close up again, and we tell God. "I won't let that happen to me again. Why did you allow me to be hurt?" We get angry and question God's motives. We are so uncertain of what we are waiting for.

I truly believe that God created us to be curious creatures, so we ask God give us a glimpse of the future so that we can take the next step. We want to be certain that there will be no more pain or embarrassment. We declare to God our patience but also show Him our hesitance. We say that we will not take another step without Him or without Him taking one first.

Is that what we are waiting for? Are we waiting for God to take a step so that we know it is safe to follow? In Matthew 14, Peter says "If it is You, then tell me to come out on the water." Jesus simply says "Come." After Peter was certain, then it was like walking on solid ground. Peter then felt a gust of wind and got scared. He forgot why he was out there and started to sink. Jesus spoke those very popular words, "Ye of Little Faith." I like to think that Jesus had that wind come at that time so Peter could see his lack of faith in Christ.

Many of us seem to be just the same. We are waiting for God to call us out from the "boat" and it's fine until we get a little wind that shakes our foundation. When that happens, we wait again until we are ready to get back out on the water. If that is the routine of our spiritual life then i think we are no longer waiting but we are just plain scared. So the question still remains, what are we waiting for...? Are we waiting for the right time when we think we are strong enough and ready to take steps? Or are we waiting for Jesus to call us from the boat? Some of us have already walked off the boat and we feel like we are sinking, so we are waiting to be saved.

God has placed in me this passion to wait. Not just simply wait around and to be ready to go when He calls but to be waiting for what happens next. If God calls me from the boat, ready to drown; if i am drowning, ready to be saved. I still may not know what I am waiting for exactly but I hope that when the wind blows I won't hear those words Peter heard.

1. Passionately Waiting

To anyone who has happened to come across this blog, I want to introduce myself. My name is Andrew Song. I am a seminary student @ Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. I'm still a young guy at 23 years old and I was born and raised in the South, via the suburbs of Atlanta, but I now find myself falling in love with the bitter winters of Chicago.

I have never been much of a journal-er, let alone an online blogger, but ever so recently I have found myself having a couple of thoughts that needed to be organized in some way or another. Because Twitter only allows 140 characters and Facebook always seems to be changing, I have conveniently chosen an online blog where I can jot down a few thoughts. And maybe through God's grace, someone may find some encouragement or find something interesting they could share with a friend or someone they know. I'm not expecting much more than just a place for me to ramble about random things and sort out my thoughts. I am open to criticism and discussions with whatever I may say. Feel free to express your thoughts openly simply because I am doing the same.

So why ...Passionately Waiting...? It seems that everyone with a blog needs a cool and trendy title that means something other than it reads. In order not to disappoint the og bloggers, I came up with ...Passionately Waiting... (I lied; I didn't come up with this. A friend said this to me in a recent conversation and I loved it so much I couldn't let it go...Thanks Peter...But I’m sure that someone out there as said this or some form of it.) It almost makes you say Patiently, but the subtle difference is what made me fall in love with Passionately Waiting.

Most of us know what the Passion of the Christ is; if you were thinking about Mel Gibson's portrayal of Jesus' last days on earth, I'm sad to say you are mistaken. When I say the Passion of the Christ, I am talking about the level of willingness Jesus had to endure the pain of the Cross. We are talking about how much heart He had to overcome the obstacle of dying on the Cross. When anyone tries to quantify passion, they always try to measure how much someone is willing to go. When we say someone has passion, we are saying that they will do whatever it takes to reach whatever goal they may have. We can tell who the best at their sport, based on the passion they have for the game or winning. You can always get a sense of the people who are more passionate about something because there is just something about them that makes them stand out from the rest.

I say Passionately Waiting, because as I call myself a Christian, I find myself waiting patiently, as someone would in a doctor’s office or at the DMV. Eventually they are going to call my name, and I know this. It is only a matter of time. I know eventually God will call me, and hopefully I will be ready to go. But I have come to understand that maybe that's not what He has in store for me. How can I Passionately Wait for God? How can I wait for the things that God has prepared for me in a way that has Passion? Whether it is a life calling, a vocation, a significant other, an answer to a prayer, or even dying? Passion seems to be one of those things we find when we reach a point in our lives that we are completely in love with or obsessed with. How can I find my Passion in waiting for what God has prepared for me?

If you got a chance to read this, then I hope you are asking yourself the same thing. If you have an answer or criticism to my longing, please feel free and say something on here or email or via Facebook.

As we passionately Wait, God Bless

Andrew